Advice to a newcomer

Every so often I get email from young people who want to get into the theme park business, asking for advice. I like answering them: I love encouraging people. My life has been graced with wonderful, patient people who took the time to encourage me, so it seems proper to pass that spirit along.

Today I got one of those letters, and it triggered more than the normal "go get 'em, kid" response. Here's what the young student wrote:

Dear Bezark Compnay,

I am a current college student and I am very interested in becoming a theme park show writer. I have taken several courses to prepare for it, such as radio work at my college, scriptwriting, writing my own small screenplays, things of that nature. I wanted to know what may be key elements to becoming a show writer, whether it is for Disney or for independent purposes. I create my own projects and have a great level of creativity, when I heard about your company and all the great work you have donw that I am a huge fan of. Any information will be helpful, and I look forward to your reponse.

And here's my reply:

Hi, (name withheld) -

Thanks for your nice letter! I'm delighted to hear that you're interested in pursuing a career in the theme park industry. I have a few thoughts for you.

First of all: Writing is writing. Whatever field you choose, your best bet is to be a strong, well-rounded writer. Try working in a variety of formats: short stories, historical essays, journalism, screenplays -- even study corporate writing like advertising and branded stuff like corporate websites. Theme parks encompass such a wide-ranging group of disciplines that the more you can do, the more useful you'll be.

Second: work on your technical skills as a writer. If you're a writer, then people will judge you by your writing. There's no excuse for spelling errors, weak grammar or incomplete sentences. That includes email, facebook, twitter - even texting. You should consider that everything you write is an "audition" that could be read by a prospective employer. For instance, in your email to me, you a) misspelled the name of my company, and b) wrote "I create my own projects and have a great level of creativity, when I heard about your company and all the great work you have donw that I am a huge fan of." That sentence includes a typo ("donw") and is missing a verb in the second clause. Practice like hell, proofread everything you send out (again, this even includes twitter), and write colorfully always.

Third: consider whether the theme park business is really where you want to be. Frankly, the theme park business stinks right now. There's not a single theme park being built anywhere in America today, nor are any on the horizon. The global economy is killing construction projects everywhere, and theme parks are viewed as an expensive investment with only modest returns. The only place where theme parks are still being built -- or at least they're talking about building -- is China. So if you're really set on getting into the theme park biz, I'd start learning Mandarin right now.

And the truth is, theme parks just don't hold a place in the public's imagination the way they did ten or twenty years ago. People still go to Walt Disney World - but many of them find they can't stand the crowds, the waiting in line, the heat, the humidity. Audiences have been spoiled by the internet and video games. If an entertainment experience requires effort -- even walking -- they're less likely to do it. Our competition in the theme park world today isn't Disney vs. Universal or Six Flags... it's the entire theme park industry vs. Nintendo, X-Box and PS3.

If I were in college today, I'm not sure that I'd be interested in entering the theme park business. I've always been drawn to the most interesting new entertainment technologies, so I'd probably be looking at the computer animation or video game businesses. These are great outlets for the same kind of creative minds that build theme parks, but they seem to have a much brighter future.

Now... after all that discouragement, I'd better not leave you desolate. After all, I'm still in the theme park business, love it dearly, and have no plans to leave. But what I *am* doing is trying to figure out where the industry is going, and to be part of the solution in taking it there. That means figuring out new kinds of attractions that immerse audiences even more intensely, engage their sense of play, and offer more immediate gratification while minimizing the amount of time spent in lines.

We're also moving "beyond the berm" in finding new markets for our talents. Theme park designers have discovered that we're able to be helpful in a whole bunch of other related industries. We're tremendously valuable in redesigning the world of museums, for example. Old museums have discovered that visitors respond much better to immersive environments and fun, interactive entertainment than to a bunch of static artifacts in glass boxes. Theme park designers are also great forces in designing next-generation resorts... exciting new retail experiences... and yes, even the enemy: video games.

So if you're serious about joining the industry, just know that the industry is serious about finding its future. We need new blood, with new ideas. We need to branch out to other industries, and to bring that knowledge and those skills back to the world of theme parks. So while it may be a terrible time to get into the theme park biz, maybe you're the kind of person who loves a great challenge and who's bursting with new ideas that will revolutionize our industry. If so, we're waiting for you, kid. Hurry up and graduate.

Best wishes and great good luck in your future.

Sincerely yours,

Adam

Frightening new discoveries about OBAMACARE!

Dear fellow Republican and defender of liberty:

Have you read the Obamacare "health" bill yet? I have, every single page. TWICE. And the terrible things I have found init are shocking. Do you know what I have found it says?

• If you like your health care plan, you do NOT get to keep it. On page 1234 it clearly states: "All citizens will be required to take a Health Care Satisfaction Exam. Those who are found to be satisfied with their coverage will be moved to a Level Two plan so that underpriviledged citizens can take there place." (Underprivledged = black) OBAMA LIES!
• If you like your doctor, too bad. On page 1313 it says, "Doctors will be rotated weekly to allow all citizins equal access to the good docters." OBAMA LIES!
• Don't think there will be cuts in Medicare? HA! On page 64, parigraph 4, it says "In order to recieve any futher Medicare benefits, all senior ciitzens must enroll in urban labor camps, to help rebuild America's inner cities." Labor camps??? OBAMA IS A NAZI!!!!!
• Euthanashia? Don't make me laugh! This is the biggest lie of all. On page 86, it says "Euthanashia is considered an important medical tool for solving global warming. All citizins over the age of 62 (Joe Biden is 62!!!) must submit to a Federal Lifeworthiness Exam to determine whether they are sufficiently active. Citiznes who fail will be entered in the new Federal Termination Lottery to deterimine which ones will be euthenized." OBAMA WANTS TO KILL YOUR GRANDMA WITH HIS OWN TWO HANDS!!!!!
• The Democraps saythere aren't going to be any Death Panels, but there are! Theyve just changed the name so you wont reconize it. On page 1600 it says "The Obamacare health board will establish a Universal Terminator Review Board to determine whether life-saving meashures are needed, based on the patient's active contribution to society, affirmative action status, and political contributions to Acorn." THEY CANT FOOL US!!!!
• Does Obamacare pay for Abortions? It's worse than that! On Page 69 it says "Due to extreme concerns about population overgrowth, the Department of Health and Human Services shall establish a National Abortion Squad. This important medical force will be armed and shall patrol suburban malls and high schools, proactively performing mandatory abortions on promiscuos teenagers who may be sexually active." OBAMA IS COMING TO SLAUGHTER YOUR UNBORN GRANDCHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!
• Electronic Health Care Records? Give me a break! THey just want to spy on you, and here's the proof: On page 1984 it says, "Health Care Records may be reviewed by the FBI for possible association with domestic terrorists and conservative action groups like militias." OBAMA WANTS TO SPY ON YOUR MILITIA!!!!
• Most of the bill is full of really boring writing about how their going to provide more choice, increase competition, and make sure you cant get canceled by the insurance companies. Don't Believe It! Their all lies. Do you know anyone who has ever had theyre insurance cancelled? Because I sure dont! OBAMA WANTS TO MAKE YOUR INSURANCE BETTER AND CHEAPER! DON"T TRUST HIM!!!!
• And here's the kicker: buried on page 1863 is the "Underpriviledged Nutrition Act." It says: "All underpriviledged families will be eligible to receive weekly nutritional suppliments. Nutritional meals shall be defined as greens, fried chicken and/or watermelon." NO NEED TO COMMENT!!!

Please, if you love this country, PLEASE PASS THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. We must show that we are smareter and read more than the Democraps.

These are exact quotes. To get the real truth, click here. READ THE BILL PEOPLE!!!

A. BEZARK

Concerned Citizen and Patriot

Posted via email from Nerd's Eye View jr.

Okay, you REALLY need to see this. An on-the-nose explanation why health care reform is being killed as we watch.

Sigh.

About a month ago, when the health care debate was still relatively civilized, the great Bill Moyers conducted an in-depth interview with Wendell Potter, a former Cigna insurance executive who left his cushy, high-paid job because his conscience had started to nag at him. He's become a remarkable advocate for health care reform, because he can explain exactly why the insurance companies don't want change, and exactly how they fight it.

Here's the link to Moyers' interview:

http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/07102009/watch2.html

You may have already seen this (I'm pretty slow), but even so, it's worth another look... because the guy is so accurate in predicting what would happen. The whole interview is fascinating; but if you're in a hurry, scroll to the very end, around 34:00, where he explains how the insurance industry will fight the proposed changes:

They don't want a public plan. They want all the uninsured to have to be enrolled in a private insurance plan. They want-- they see those 50 million people as potentially 50 million new customers. So they're in favor of that. They see this as a way to essentially lock them into the system, and ensure their profitability in the future. The strategy is as it was in 1993 and '94, to conduct this charm offensive on the surface. But behind the scenes, to use front groups and third-party advocates and ideological allies. And those on Capitol Hill who are aligned with them, philosophically, to do the dirty work. To demean and scare people about a government-run plan, try to make people not even remember that Medicare, their Medicare program, is a government-run plan that has operated a lot more efficiently.

And also, the people who are enrolled in our Medicare plan like it better. The satisfaction ratings are higher in our Medicare program, a government-run program, than in private insurance. But they don't want you to remember that or to know that, and they want to scare you into thinking that through the anecdotes they tell you, that any government-run system, particularly those in Canada, and UK, and France that the people are very unhappy.

And that these people will have to wait in long lines to get care, or wait a long time to get care. I'd like to take them down to Wise County. I'd like the president to come down to Wise County, and see some real lines of Americans, standing in line to get their care.

Wise County, Virginia, is where Potter had his epiphany. That's where he saw a huge "health care expedition"... where thousands of people with no insurance were coming to get treated by volunteer doctors, in horrible, humiliating circumstances. Potter was so stunned by this sight -- of how desperate the situation is for people who can't get insurance -- that he quit his job at Cigna and is now working on behalf of the reform movement.

And everything he predicted a month ago -- the insurance companies' outward cooperation, masking their behind-the-scenes demonization of change and their manipulation of the very people who need change the most -- has come horrifyingly true.

Today, as President Obama backpedals away from the apparently dead Public Option, it looks like Mr. Potter's private jet-riding, gold-plate-eating insurance executive buddies have gotten everything they want.

God, I hope it's not too late... but it sure looks like their game plan is working exactly as planned.

Posted via email from Nerd's Eye View jr.

"15 will be Lost. The 16th will be found." What does it mean? I have an interesting theory.

I guess it'd be an understatement to say that I'm a LOST fan. I got in late, at the start of Season Two, but was so intrigued I bought the Season One DVDs, blew thru them in about a week, and I've been hooked ever since. (If you're already a LOST fan, btw, please skip these first few introductory paragraphs; you already know all this stuff. My "interesting theory" comes at the end.)

One of my favorite things about the show (aside from its achingly beautiful character arcs, jaw-dropping performances, genre-shattering story twists, industry-defying production quality, and epilepsy-in-a-good-way-inducing ability to reinvent itself every season) is that the producers are keenly aware of, and grateful to, their core audience: geeks. That's because Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse are themselves geeks of the first order. They've embraced a long-running dialog with their audience: offscreen, they engage in Q&A podcasts, video podcasts, bulletin boards, goofy name-the-website type contests, etc. Onscreen, they even occasionally wink at the hardcore fans by tossing in a red herring or joke that's specifically aimed at geek speculation.

But two geek-friendly activities have elevated "Darlton" (as the fans lovingly call them) to nerd godhood. The first is their annual appearance at the San Diego Comic-Con, where they pack the gigantic Hall H, bring a few stars from the show, and hold court for an hour, taking questions from the audience without ever really answering any of them. It's an amazing tightwire act, and they pull it off masterfully each year.

Geeks and ARGs: Two Great Tastes that Taste Great Together

The second great gift to the nerd community is the inventive collection of off-season activities they develop each year, to keep the fans engaged during the long, long wait (eight months this year!) between the end of one season and the beginning of the next. In the past, they've launched a variety of books, videos, mobisodes, etc., but the best have been the ARGs that take fans on elaborate treasure hunts around the internet -- and sometimes even around the real world -- in search of clues that will reveal tasty tidbits of upcoming LOST secrets. My personal favorite was the "Alvar Hanso/Rachel Blake" saga that ran after Season Two. It presented a months-in-the-telling, multisegmented spinoff story set in the LOST universe, which ultimately gave fans the meaning -- or at least a meaning -- of the infamous LOST "numbers": 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.

This year, because we're coming into the sixth and final season of LOST, the producers have lovingly dedicated the off-season adventure... to the fans themselves. The fun started at Comic-Con, where LOST stars Jorge Garcia and Michael Emerson appeared in the audience, asking questions as if they were fans themselves. A few minutes later, comic Paul Scheer stepped up to the mic to show off his delightfully awful painting of "Damon, Carlton and a Polar Bear"... painted on black velvet, of course. I thought it was a cute self-promotional bit by a small-time comedian. When he plugged his website, www.damoncarltonandapolarbear.com, I still thought he was kidding. But in the last week or so, it's turned out that Scheer and his velvet paintings ARE this summer's game.

A story is unfolding in which the mysterious "Ronie Midfew Arts Gallery" is trying to stop Scheer from unveiling his next batch of paintings. There are numerous clues popping up which confirm that not only is this an "official" game, but they're actually doling out some tantalizing clues about the start of Season Six. For instance, we know that the season premiere will be titled "LA X" (with a deliberate space before the 'X', giving it some added significance). At the end of Season Five, a bizarre nuclear/magnetic "incident" may have "reset time," sending the entire six-year saga back to the beginning. The passengers of Oceanic 815 were originally flying to Los Angeles, so it's certainly possible the new season will open with the plane landing safely at LAX and the passengers happily disembarking, blissfully unaware of the island and its mysterious inhabitants. The question will be: how do they get out of this "false restart"?

Okay, Fine, I'm Getting To My Theory

For me, the biggest unsolved clue appears on roniemidfewarts.com, where -- in addition to some stuff about the humorous Scheer story-- a mysterious slogan/tagline states: "15 will be lost. The 16th will be found." While everyone else speculates about the phrase's meaning in relation to Scheer and Midfew, I wonder if it isn't a fairly straightforward clue about the start of Season Six? It even sounds like the kind of promo tagline ABC would use to hype the premiere.

If that's the case, then perhaps we'll discover that 15 characters have been "lost" in the time reset -- they've been sent back to their original paths before the island intervened in their lives. They have no idea the island exists, and they're living the (empty, messed up) lives they had before. This was hinted at by the funny commercials released around Comic-Con: Hurley is rich but miserable, Kate and Jack have never met, etc. This would also reinforce the hint Scheer dropped when he found a "broken rose" in an ABC dumpster: Rose, one of LOST's favorite supporting characters, will die of cancer if she never goes to the island.

So if "15 will be lost," the question is: who are the 15 lost souls? Is it the 15 remaining survivors of Oceanic 815? Kind of depends how you count. Or maybe it's the 15 people Jacob touched before the incident? We saw him touch about 6 or 7 in the Season 5 finale...

And if "the 16th will be found," does that mean one of the characters will somehow be aware that this reset timeline is wrong, and that they have to get back to the "real" timeline, where everyone's on the island again? If so, who's the 16th person? Is it Desmond, who seems to be slightly unstuck in time? Jack, our primal hero? Faraday, who knows more about time than just about anyone?

Or... perhaps the 16th is Juliet, who we saw die at the end of Season Five when she triggered the time-resetting bomb. Maybe she's now alive, but oddly aware that she shouldn't be. In order to set things right, she'll have to tear the time fix apart... and die again. That would be an epic character dilemma worthy of LOST.

In any case, just sayin': if we start seeing real ABC promos for Season Six using the phrase "15 will be lost... the 16th will be found," we'll know I'm on the right track.

We now return to our regularly scheduled space-time continuum. Namaste.

Posted via email from Nerd's Eye View jr.

Dear lord. GOP gets 1000s of angry calls about their brownshirt tactics... and redirects the callers to the DNC switchboard.

God, it's like high school all over again.

There was an asshole in our class who I'll refer to as Ricky Geese, because that was his name. He was gigantic and stupid: a wrestler, of course. (See Ricky's graduation photo, left.) He hung out in the "glass hallway" where the jocks went to cut class. When a poor, unsuspecting nerd wandered thru the hall, Ricky and his peabrained buds would beat the crap out of the kid, or for some real fun, shove the nerd thru one of the big glass windows. (No, I wasn't one of the victims - I was just smart enough to steer clear of these lummoxes.) When a teacher or principal would show up to find out what happened, Ricky and his thugbuddies would grin broadly and blame the bloodshed on one of the other poor nerds.

That's what's happening now with the Republicans and their insurance company chums. First they loaf around in the glass hallway, cutting the health care class and contributing nothing. Then, when any nerdy Democratic congressman tries to hold a town hall to discuss health care, they send in Ricky Geese and his assclown crew to shove the poor Dem thru a (metaphoric, so far - dear god, please let it remain metaphoric) window - they yell, scream and shut down the meeting. Finally, when people call GOP headquarters to complain about this horrific behavior, they redirect the angry callers to the Democratic Headquarters' Switchboard.

What's next? Playing Ding Dong Ditch at the White House? Putting flaming bags of poop on Obama's doorstep, hoping he'll stomp on the turds?

Jesus. Here's CNN's story on these thugs:

CNN: GOP Turns Tables on Democrats

I'm not sure which is worse: the story, or the comments that follow. I don't know what's happened to America in the last 30 days or so, but it ain't pretty. The civil discourse that followed Obama's inauguration has given way to the most pig-ignorant, rabid shrieking from the righties. "See? He is too a communist!" the Deliverance crowd screams. "Them'ere Democrats think it's fine to protest when THEY want to, but when us 'Publicans protest, they say we're startin' riots!"

Okay, you fucking hillbilly jocks. Let's get this straight.

Nobody is angry because conservative voters want to voice their opinions.

Nobody wants to stifle your freedom of speech, no matter how stupid your speech may be.

The current town hall disruption tactics are wrong for two simple reasons:

1. The protesters aren't "ordinary citizens showing their true feelings." They're being organized, sent and coached by the insurance companies.
2. The protesters aren't just voicing their opinions: they're stopping everybody else from voicing theirs.

And when they get called on it, when thousands of angry voters call to tell them how ridiculously they're behaving, the Republicans play a stupid high school phone prank on their own constituents.

This is civil discourse?

Nope. It's just Ricky Geese throwing another kid thru the glass window.

Posted via email from Nerd's Eye View jr.

The internet shall be my tears

The dreaded email just arrived. I am not among The Chosen to attend the memorial service to Sir Michael Jackson here in Los Angeles on Tuesday morning. (what? I'm going to be out of town Tuesday? shhh.)

How can they do this to me? I filled in the form and everything. I'm never shopping at Staples again.

Whoops, where'd the blog go?

Wow, it's been a while since my last blog entry. This is due to three powerful factors.

1. I've been really busy.
2. I'm a lazy sumbitch.
3. Twitter.

The first two factors are my problem. The third is something I hadn't expected. Twitter, which I first saw as a weird and silly waste of time, has turned into a vital and highly effective component of my daily time-wasting routine.

Think about it. Not many people have the energy and discipline to write a long, carefully reasoned (and proofread) article every day, or even every week. Heck, there aren't very many things I really even want to talk about for that length of time.

But anybody can think of something to say in 140 characters. It takes no time, no thought, no effort. It's impossible to agonize over what to say; you just blurt out whatever's on your mind. It's such a no-brainer, it imposes no additional burden on my already overwhelmed brain. (That's why it's called a no-brainer, genius -- ed.) So in just a few weeks, I've become completely addicted to the Tweetstream. I track my friends' comings and goings, and send odd little thought bubbles into the flow throughout the day.

This is Kaizen, the Japanese efficiency method that encourages big changes to come from tiny, seemingly insignificant changes. Want to make your city cleaner? Tell everyone to pick up one piece of trash. Trying to start an exercise program? Start by walking for one minute every day. Give people a goal that's laughably simple, something they can't possibly object to or find excuses to defer, and they'll fall into the habit. Then, once you're walking one minute a day, it's easy to make it two. If you're patient, it's said you can build up any positive behavior thru this simple method.

This is the first definitive example of Kaizen I've experienced since I learned about the technique earlier this year. Now all I need to do is apply it to other things, like getting my desk organized. Oh, well: one step at a time. I'm going to throw away a single post-it note now...

Making a Moment

There’s a story behind every story. And being in the business of creating stories and emotion, I’m fascinated by studying this week’s biggest internet fable: the video of Susan Boyle’s amazing debut on Britain’s Got Talent. (As usual, I’m a little behind the curve – this story broke four days ago, but I just saw the video yesterday.)

I watched the clip with many of the same emotions as everyone else: astonishment, wonder, and a growing sense of vicarious pride in the achievement of an everywoman who lived The Dream by walking onto the world stage and, against all cynical expectation, blew the rafters off and brought ‘em to their feet. I wept as I watched, weep still every time I see it, partly because I’m a big old crybaby, partly because I want to believe that The Dream still comes to those who deserve it.

But as I’ve watched it a few more times, I’ve come to admire something else: the canny, strategic way the show’s producers set up and sold Ms. Boyle’s successful performance.

You’ve seen this kind of big, emotional moment countless times before on reality TV. The millionaire bachelor’s heartfelt marriage proposal and his month-long girlfriend’s joyous tears. The humble, nerdy fashion designer who triumphs over his scheming opportunist opponent by sheer talent and pluck. Yes, these moments are real… and yes, they’re absolutely staged.

Ms. Boyle walked onstage, straight from her cottage in Blackburn, Scotland, and uncorked a killer performance of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables. But think: where did she get that beautiful, full-orchestra backing track? She certainly didn’t bring it with her to the auditions: you can’t find karaoke tracks that good in West Lothian. Either she’s a seasoned professional with her own high-grade material, or the music was provided for her by the show. Consider further: the Les Miz music continued seamlessly as emotional orchestral scoring under the judges’ commentary, climaxing majestically on Simon’s final comment: “it’s three yesses.” Hmm.

Mind you, I’m not implying that the competition was rigged in any underhanded way. Rather, the show’s producers simply used a bit of theater to heighten the moment.

Here’s what I assume happened. Ms. Boyle auditions for the BGT screeners, who instantly know they’ve found a fine voice. They bring her to the show’s producers, who agree she's a likely contender. Okay, they think –- she can sing, but christ, she’s almost fifty! Overweight and kind of goofy. Will people like her? Should we get her a hair stylist and a new dress?

But then, they realize: no. Don’t try to make her look better. Instead, let’s play into her simple appearance and modest background. It’ll make an incredible surprise when she cuts loose, and she’ll come off much better due to diminished expectations Don't touch her hair, and tell her to keep wearing that darling yellow frock.

Next, they pull her music track together. The song choice is brilliant -– an aching lament for a life of choices made and love lost -– probably suggested by the show. (Note that since Ms. Boyle's never been kissed, they skip the salacious lyrics about He spent a summer by my side/He filled my days with endless wonder.) No idea if they have a library of professional needle-drop tracks on hand, or if — more intriguingly —they custom record it for her. During the segment they cut to a hand pressing a button on an audio system, as if she’s brought her own CD along. But clearly someone goes to the trouble to make sure that despite her small-town looks, she has a big-time sound. It's a subtle touch, but all-important; imagine if she’d sung to a cheap Casio rendition of the same song.

Finally, they write (and later edit) the entire segment to set up Ms. Boyle as a bit of a goofball, a small-town bumpkin. The breathless hosts open the segment by lamenting how they haven't seen any great talent yet, and here’s someone who "says she can sing." Cut to Ms. Boyle eating a sandwich. Everything is designed to make her seem sweet but a bit dotty. We're perfectly programmed to doubt her talent; so when she cuts loose, it seems like a miracle.

I have no idea how long this process took. It could have been hours, days, or even weeks if they took the time to assemble a full backing track for her. But she sure didn't walk on stage direct from the audition room. 

Please understand. I mean to take nothing away from Ms. Boyle’s talent, nor do I think the BGT producers did anything sneaky or unethical. Neither do I think the judges were informed that they had a “live wire” coming up. It was essential to keep them in the dark, in order to capture their wonderful expressions as the performance unfolded. Simon Cowell may have been prompted to ask her those particular questions about her age and ambition in order to further set up her improbable story, but I think his reaction to her talent is genuine. (Of course, it's possible Cowell was in on the whole thing, knew exactly what was coming, and simply played along. Judge not lest he be judged.)

Imagine, though, if she’d given exactly the same performance — after being introduced as “Scotland’s newest and greatest singing sensation” and sweeping onstage in a shimmering gold Versace gown? The audience would have applauded politely, and the judges’ remarks would have been much less adulatory.

So I’m not suggesting that the show’s fixed, or that the woman’s talent is fake. Susan Boyle’s debut was carefully staged theater, but the woman herself appears honest, sweet and genuinely talented.

I’m just one professional, admiring the handiwork of another. This is what we do, kids. And it wasn’t just a frumpy forty-seven-year-old spinster who hit all the right notes on Saturday.

Disney Tracery

Wow. Just saw this video, demonstrating how many bits of classic Disney animation have been recycled over the years. Not just conceptual re-use of old jokes: we're talking about literal, frame-by-frame recreations of animated movement. See Baloo become Little John! Watch Snow White transform instantly into Maid Marian! It appears the animators literally pulled whole blocks of animation out of the archives and re-traced it with the new characters in place of the old ones. Kind of a Luddite's Search and Replace.

What's interesting -- and, I suppose, somewhat reassuring -- is that virtually all of the "theft" comes from the lamest period in Disney's history: the doldrums from 1967-1984, between the death of Walt Disney and the arrival of Eisner/Wells/Katzenberg, when the studio was being run by Walt's son-in-law. It's the period that gave us "Robin Hood" and "The Aristocats," perhaps the worst two Disney animated films ever, and the biggest ani-theft culprits in this video. 

Looks like what may have started as a benign way to quickly fill gaps in an animated sequence devolved into all-out self-plagiarism for a while there. The Bleak Years were characterized by a drought of creativity on all fronts, and it's not surprising that the animation itself suffered along with the terrible story, music, editing and character design of the period. I don't think you'd see anything like this from "The Little Mermaid" forward. The example from "Beauty and the Beast," in which Belle and Beast's waltz steps are shown to be similar to Aurora's from "Sleeping Beauty," really falls more under the heading of homage rather than chicanery. 

The lesson: don't steal, kids. The truth will out, even if it takes forty years.

UPDATE: KMS informs me that she saw this video a month ago. It was posted, naturally, by the accursed Dave Cobb. New lesson: never try to out-Cobb Cobb.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

From all of us.